NNED A JOB, MUST FIND A JOB, NEED JOB NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ok, I am done ranting for now. I have nothing productive to add, but really if I do not find a job soon, I am screwed. On the plus side, my dad went to the cardiologist for a checkup and everything is good.
F OUT!

It has been 6 months since my Ima was niftar, 6 months since I lost my best friend, and the person I loved most in the world. Today has not been easy. I still have no job as of June whatever it is, and I can't help thinking that I have done NOTHING recently that my mother would be proud of. I cannot even bring myself to write anything new and exciting, I sincerely hope that my life turns itself around soon, cause otherwise, I am going to cry. Oh wait, doing that already......

I hope everyone had a lovely Shabbat. I think I may have logged a new record for sleeping. Anyone who knows me knows I am not real likely to sleep Shabbat afternoon because then I will not sleep Sat. night. Well that plan got shot to hell, and boy did I sleep! Anyway, tonite we counted 19 days of the Omer. I can say that cause I already counted, still with a bracha even. On Friday I asked everyone to say tehillim for Yael Yehudis Sara Bas Sima and for Serach Dena Bas Meira Malka. I cannot stress enough how important this is. I do not know if it is because I recently lost my mother, or just b/c anyone can see how much is sux to lose someone you love, but it is tearing me up inside that my friend Rachael is losing her mother. And the other one, the girl is only 5, she has not yet begun to live. Our tehillim together can help her.
On a completely different note. I still have no job for next year, heck no job for June. If anyone has lots of extra money to donate to the Save F Foundation I am all for it. (That would be funny if everyone did not know that I take money from NO ONE). Anyway. I need to go spend time job searching, but I just cannot bring myself to do it tonite. maybe I will give myself the night off. Hey J.... how were the swoops? were they unreal? Ok can we tell I need chocolate in a big way? Anyway, I am gonna go for now...... F OUT!

so it is erev Shabbat. Ok first things first, I have one friend whose mother is VERY VERY sick. Please say tehillim for Yael Yehudis Sara Bas Sima. Also someone I know from NCSY has a 5 year old daughter with an inoperable brain tumor. Please take the time to say tehillim for Serach Dina Bas Meira Malka. Please take time to do your part. The voices of klal yisrael together are powerful. That is all I have for now, but please please please I say again, do something!

Someone please tell me that I am going to get a job, and not be evicted. Right now it does not look good. It just ticks me off, I am qualified to do so much, and yet I find myself applying for secretary/filing positions. If my mother knew that she would be unhappy. I guess in that respect it is good that she is no longer alive. In every other respect it absolutely BITES! Anyway, and it continues to suck, it does not get better, no matter what they tell you. Mothers day is coming up and i have no idea how the hell I am gonna handle that. Made worse by the fact that J's mother died ON freakin mothers day last year... and while I am glad that my ex-idiot is gone, I am so tired of being lonely. I just want something to work out for once. A job and benefits would be a great start..... Wow all i seem to do here is bitch and moan. D you were right, a great way to get things out. benefitted of course by the fact that I am sure that almost no one reads this.. Certainly not insane roommate woman, different than psycho jesus lady for those of you that remember. oh and another thing, someone explain to me how I could have so successfully had several couples date on my couch, but fail miserably at my own marriage, I just fail to comprehend. In any case, on the depressing note, I am off to bed.... if anyone is reading this, i feel like i am drowning.....

another fruitless day spent job searching. Ms. Likro, I am so glad you found something at least part time. Gives me hope. Today is the 14th day of the Omer and I am still counting with a bracha (go me). Anyway, I really have nothing of substance to say, so I will sign off for now. If the muse hits again, I will let you all know........

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon here where I live. It is also like 80 degrees. I am still recovering from the plague, but gam zeh ya'avor I guess. I am spending many many hours searching for jobs cause as of the last day of school I am out of one. Anyway with any ideas about what I can do please let me know. I cannot teach in pulbic school b/c of my stupid former principal, and I have NO IDEA what hte heck i am gonna do. Beyond desperate here...... will do just about anything except cleaning windows. Scared, very scared.....

Erev Shabbat 4-16
I hope everyone got their taxes in on time. For myself, I did an extension since my idiot of an ex husband was on unemployment, and I REFUSE to pay the taxes on that! Anywho.... so B"H for Shabbat. I am eating out both meals, which means I did not have to deal with the mess that is Seven Mile Market. Just as a side I need everyone to daven really really really hard for Yael Yehudis Sara Bat Sima. My friends mother is very ill, and now it is a matter of time. I have a chavrusa every Monday and we learn in her zechus, so if anyone is kovea itim, and they would mention her name, I would appreciate it. Ok so that is done. The job seach continues, if anyone knows what I can do besides teaching, please let me know. Again to the 4 people who read this in cyber space, have a great shabbat and call me.

I have had some time to sleep now. Not that I am not still exhausted. Pesach on the whole was AMAZING!! I felt like part of a family, which was nice, since mine was all apart this year. Thank G-D for S&D, I am telling you. There were a few notable exceptions to my fantastic holiday. I got to go swimming (yay) then coming out of the pool my (left) ankle gave out and my shins slammed down on the pool deck(boo). After realizing that both legs still worked (yay) I got out of the pool to discover a 2 inch wide gash in my leg that proceeded to bleed for 3 days. (boo) my right leg is black and blue from right below my knee to my ankle. I think I popped a blood vessel or something (boo) I got to sleep late a few mornings (yay). The one big bad serious icky thing was that I had to light my first yartzheit candle this year, and that was NOT fun. I also said Yizkor for the first time. I asked a she'eila for all of you who care and that is the p'sak I got, so yizkor it was. It was truthfully a lot of buildup about a few paragraphs of tefilot, not at all bad. However when I lit the candle monday night it was bad. It made for a very weepy last day of Yom Tov. None of this was helped by my roommate telling me that "yes my husband walked out on me, and yes my mother died, but that i have to GET OVER IT!!" and "MOVE ON" So that was the bad parts. I met some truly amazing people, and I will state their names here for the record. Rabbi Yale Butler, you are an amazing man and should continue to see nachas from all of your offspriing, and Rabbi Mendel Markel, you are a true Ish Torah, and the world should benefit from your insights for a long long time. TrueKabbalah . Okie dokie then, I am going to sign off for a while. If you want to hear about my epiphany then please email me, or call me, since I am too tired to type it here. Also, Shavuous in Harrisburg for any single people who want to come do a HUGE mitzvah! Call or email me for details!

Ok, just back from West Virginia, where it is all relative. get it??? Anyway, it is really freaking late, but I told work I would not be there tomorrow morning, and I was RIGHT!!!!!!!!! Pesach was great with a few HUGE exceptions, which I will write more about tomorrow when I am more coherent.

Ok so the day before pesach, really there are just no words. Even if you are not going to be home (thanks S&D) I ran all over the freakin place!!! Now I am home for Bedika, but of course the roommate is not, and really I have to take my friend home, then I have to pack, and all I want to do is watch the O's on TV (I miss you Ima) and they are only on cable,....... damnit! Grumpy! More later!!!!!!!!!!

Dateline Motza"sh
Had a great Shabbos at S&D's. Bonded with their son who I used to babysit for who is now in 10th grade at NER ISRAEL!!!! (so freaked out by this) Everything was great till I came home, and the apt looked like a bomb had hit it. Whatever....... As a side note, does anyone know how to erase a web address from the address bar, so that when you scroll down you do not see it. If so, please advise. Anyway, tomorrow going to finish the living room for Pesach, then I need to pack, well I do not need to, but it would be nice if I had more then the clothes on my back when I got to the hotel. Anywho.... Dunno if I will get a change to write again before Monday, so to the 3 people in cyber space that read this, have a chag kasher v'sameach.

It is way way to late for someone who has to be at work at 7 to be up. Like someone else I have the insomnia, like someone else I have the headache. Whatever. Efrex, thanks for putting in the commenting code, and I TRIED to add links, following your directions, but it did not seem to work..... Whatever story of my life. My pathetic existence begins again tomorrow.......
G'nite world

let us try this again. I know it is bare bones, but at least if you read it you do not have to listen to me ramble on the phone. So let us see, the situation that you all know about is not getting any better, but whatever, I have placed an add for a new one. I am starting to get excited about Pesach. If I do say so myself, my program for the kiddies is great. Really, 9 days in a hotel does not sound bad. All of you that are cleaning, I am sorry. Anyway, I have to go get new tires (I lead such an exciting life).